Handheld Thingymagiggers
by Couer de Danse
Summary: What happens when the 7th year Muggle Studies class, gets a new assignment? R and R please!
1. The Marauder Chat Room

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 1: The Marauders' Chat room

"Everyone! Gather round today!" Our muggle studies Professor Bane yelled to his 7th year Muggle Studies class.

Clearing his throat, Professor Bane held up a little handheld thing.

"This, is going to be your new best friend. Now, everyone, come up and grab one," He said.

As told, the students went to the desk, and grabbed the handhelds.

"Good, now for your homework tonight. You're suppose to figure out how to make a chat account, or whatever Muggles call it. If you don't know what that is, ask a muggleborn," Professor Bane explained, just as the bell rang.

2 hours later:

_LMELover has entered the Marauder chat room_

_Hawtie has entered the Marauder chat room_

_Fullmooney has entered the Marauder chat room_

_PeewiePete has entered the Marauder chat room_

**LMELover**: Padfoot? Mooney? Wormy?

**Hawtie**: Hey! Prongso! How's it going?

**LMELover**: Well, considering I'm sitting next to you guys right now, I'd say nothing much.

**PeewiePete**: Prongs? What does your username mean?

**Hawtie**: Aw, Wormy, it means Lily (something that starts with an M) Evans lover.

**LMELover**: *Punches his best friend* The M stands for Marie, for your information.

**Fullmooney**: Prongs, I'm sure Padfoot didn't mean it that way.

**Hawtie**: Oh no, I meant it that way. Siriusly, you need to get over the girl! She's never going to say yes.

**LMELover**: Oh, lay off of the Sirius pun, would you? And you don't know that!

**Hawtie**: Um, yes, I do. Just ask Mooney!

**LMELover**: Is that true Mooney?

**Fullmooney**: …

**LMELover**: Oh come ON! Not you too!

**Fullmooney**: Prongs, I think, maybe you should give her some space…

**LMELover**: Space? I haven't asked her out at all today!

**PeewiePete**: I don't think that's what Mooney means Prongs.

**LMELover**: Stay out of the Peter, no one asked your opinon!

**PeewiePete**: …..

**Fullmooney**: Hey guys, Minnie's getting suspicious of us, I think we should put these away.

**Hawtie**: Nah! Don't worry about it!

**PeewiePete**: I agree with Mooney, oh no! She's walking towards us! Quick! Put these away!

_PeewiePete :has exited the Marauder chat room_

**Fullmooney**: Yeah, see you guys.

_Fullmooney has exited the Marauder chat room_

**LMELover**: I'm going too, who knows what will happen to my Head Boy badge if I get detention!

_LMELover has exited the Marauder chat room_

**Hawtie**: Guys? *Looks around the chat room, then breaks into dance and song* Sirius Black is Hot! SIRIUS BLACK IS HOTTTT!

_Hawtie has exited the Marauder chat room_

A/N: So? Does anyone want more? If you do, please review! I'll make another chapter if I get at least 1 review! That's not to much to ask, is it?

Thanks,

Phoebe


	2. The Library Chat Room

**Disclaimer: I'm sorry. If you want the real JKR, please travel at least 5,000 miles east from where I am.**

A/N: Since I got 3 reviews, even though that's not a lot, it made my day! So…

**Karoolis**: You're like a mind reader! This chapter is all about Lily and her friends. Now the Slytherins, and maybe teachers, might jump in, in the future. Also, thanks for reviewing!

**momo9momo: **Thank you for reviewing!

**X**: Even though I'm pretty sure you're an anonymous reviewer, thanks!

The Library Chat room

The next day:

"So, I trust you all learned to figure it out?" Professor Bane questioned his class the next day.

"If so, great! I've also got some new news! Get it? New, news! Ah, well, never mind. Anyway, other students have been coming up to me, complaining they don't have one of the Handheld thingymagiggers. So, I have given the whole school one! Including the teachers, so be careful what you write. Bye-bye!" He called out to us, as we left the classroom, confused, yet again.

30 minutes later:

_EmeraldIGryffie has entered the Library Chat room_

_Frank4ev has entered the Library Chat room_

_ImmaNiceGurl has entered the Library Chat room_

_MaryMicky has entered the Library Chat room_

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Haha! I'm laughing so hard, I'm CRYING!

**Frank4ev**: Won't Madame Pince kick you out of the library then?

**MaryMicky**: Lils, why are you even in the library in the first place. It's Friday Night, go do something fun!

**ImmaNiceGurl**: I agree with Alice and Mary, but Lils, what's so funny?

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Your name! ImmaNiceGurl? You are most certainly not!

**ImmaNiceGurl**: Shut it Lily. What about yours? EmeraldIGryffie? What does that even mean?

**Frank4ev**: It means, Emerald the 'eye' and the Gryffindor. Obviously she's referring to her emerald eyes (that we're all secretly jealous of) and that she's a 'Gryffie'.

**EmeraldIGryffie**: See Marlene? That wasn't to hard to figure out. Yet again, it is you we're talking about here.

**MaryMicky**: Ooh! You feel that breeze Lily? Oh wait, NO! You're in the library!

**EmeraldIGryffie**: This again? Mary, I have to finish my Transfiguration homework, or I'm doomed!

**Frank4ev**: Why don't you just ask James to help you. You'd get done in like 5 minutes.

**EmeraldIGryffie**: I can't believe you just asked that.

**ImmaNiceGurl**: Lily, Potter isn't that bad anymore. He's not pranking anybody, or being a bully! He's even being responsible!

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Don't you see? It's just his Head Boy act. It'll wear off soon enough.

_Fullmooney has entered the Library Chat room_

**Fullmooney**: Oh, I see I've interrupted something.

**MaryMicky**: No, no! We've fixed it. Wait, who are you?

**EmeraldIGryffie**: That's Remus.

**MaryMicky**: How do you know?

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Uh, he told me that was his username, just in case we wanted to chat!

**Fullmooney**: Yeah! (I love you Lily! Thanks!)

**ImmaNiceGurl**: Ooh, don't let Potter know you said that, you'd be dead.

_LMELover has entered the Library Chat room_

**LMELover**: Hey, Mooney, can you tell me what the poti- YOU LOVE EVANS!

**Fullmooney**: Ow! Prongs, stop hitting me!

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Yeah Potter, you guys are causing a seen.

**Fullmooney**: It wasn't like that anyway! She just- OW! What the heck? What is a meat cleaver doing in the library! Ah! Gotta go!

_Fullmooney has exited the Library Chat room_

**LMELover**: You're so gonna pay Lupin!

_LMELover has exited the Library Chat room_

**ImmaNiceGurl**: Well, that was…

**Frank4ev**: Interesting?

**MaryMicky**: Weird?

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Annoying.

**ImmaNiceGurl**: Lily, you think everything Potter does is annoying. You think when he plays Quidditch, he's annoying. When he's eating, he's annoying. EVEN WHEN HE'S SLEEPING! You're very critical, you know that?

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Because it IS annoying! Right, Mary, Alice?

**MaryMicky**: …

**Frank4ev**: …

**EmeraldIGryffie**: Whatever, I need to go anyways.

_EmeraldIGryffie has exited the Library Chat room_

**Frank4ev**: Awe, did you see how James threatened Remus, because of Lily? That was so sweet!

**ImmaNiceGurl**: Yeah, her knight in shiny armor. Very sweet.

**Frank4ev**: What's that? I don't think enough of your SARCASTICNESS have gotten to my ears yet!

**ImmaNiceGurl**: I'm going to go. I just saw a very HAWT boy pa- Oh. That's Black, never mind. But I'm still leaving!

_ImmaNiceGurl has exited the Library Chat room_

**MaryMicky**: I feel so left out. I mean, you're engaged to Frank. Lily is in denial about James, and Black is starting to grow on Marlene!

**Frank4ev**: What about Remus?

**MaryMicky**: Yeah, but then I'd have to die in some way, so he could be with Tonks in the future. Then again, this is fictional, and can be whatever the author (A/N: Me!) created. Ooh! There's Remus over their! It looks like his elbows bleeding. I'm going to go help.

_MaryMicky has exited the Library Chat room_

**Frank4ev**: Okay, guess I'm the only one left then.

_Hawtie has entered the Library Chat room_

**Hawtie**: No you're not, sweet thang!

_I3Al has entered the Library Chat room_

**I3Al**: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY BLACK!

**Hawtie**: Um, Frank, I was just commenting on how good of a women you chose.

**Frank4ev**: I'm not a choice! It just happened!

**Hawtie**: Exactly.

**I3Al**: Come on Al, let's go snog.

**Frank4ev**: Okie dokie!

_Frank4ev has exited the Library Chat room_

_I3Al has exited the Library Chat room_

**Hawtie**: Yes! Second time in a row that I'm alone! SIRIUS BLACK IS HOT!

_Hawtie has exited the Library Chat room_

A/N: There! All done. If you think my stories okay so far, please REVIEW! If you don't, then I don't know why you read Chapters 1 & 2. Anyways, remember! SIRIUS BLACK IS HOT! And Review!

Thanks,

Phoebe


	3. The Slytherin Common Room Chat Room

**Disclaimer: I doubt J.K Rowling lives in America. By the way, I'M NOT HER!**

_A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Sorry it's been a while since I updated, I'll try to do better!_

**Samira parsa**_: He is, isn't he? I love James to DEATH, but unforutatley he is not available, so I needed a replacement, didn't I?_

**Kittykatkitkat**_: I don't know if that was positive or not, but I'm just glad you reviewed._

**Nony0mous**_: Funny you should say that, I had a little rough draft of this chapter with them, but then I lost it during one of my study halls. Anyway, thanks for the suggestion!_

The Slytherin Common Room Chat Room

The next day:

Professor Bane walked in for his muggle studies class. Not even doing role call, he was just happy that everyone seemed to be excited for the handheld thingys. Nodding his head in approvel, he got on himself… (A/N: But that's for another day…)

Later that night in the Slytherin Common Room:

_SlimySnake has entered the Slytherin Common Room_

_BellaBLes has entered the Slytherin Common Room_

_LuciusMalfoy has entered the Slytherin Common Room_

SlimySnake: I am going to kill Black and Potter.

LuciusMalfoy: This wouldn't have anything to do with that username of yours, does it?

BellaBLes: You're one to talk. I mean, seriously, LuciusMalfoy? A bit unimaginitave don't you think?

LuciusMalfoy: At least I know not to reach for dreams that are far, far to good to come true.

BellaBLes: …What are you saying?

LuciusMalfoy: I'm saying that you're deranged if you think Lestrange is ever going to marry you, let alone date.

BellaBLes: Grr….

SlimySnake: Alright guys, break it up.

BellaBLes: Excuse me! Last time I checked, I was a girl.

LuciusMalfoy: I wondered when you'd find out.

BellaBLes: That's not what I meant, and you know it!

LuciusMalfoy: Well, you should be more clear when you talk about your issues in life.

BellaBLes: I won't go to Azkaban for killing a "friend" of mine, will I?

SlimySnake: You won't. You're blood goes back way, way before Lucius' does. You're much purer.

BellaBLes: You always were my favorite.

SlimySnake: I am very irresistible.

_LuciusMalfoy has left the Slytherin Common Room_

BellaBLes: …

SlimySnake: …

BellaBLes: …

SlimySnake: …

BellaBLes: So, how was your trip to the Hospital Wing?

SlimySnake: Not to shabby, although Lucius is way to heavy for his own good.

BellaBLes: Well, you did make him faint.

SlimySnake: All in good intentions though.

BellaBLes: Like what? Being able to make sure that the Dark Lord would approve of your techinuqes?

SlimySnake: Sh! Bella, not here. Teachers can read anything, and everything.

BellaBLes: That's really disturbing.

_Hawtie has entered the Slytherin Common Room_

Hawtie: Not as disturbing as you, Belly.

BellaBLes: Ugh! Black! You filthy, blood traitor! Don't call me Belly!

Hawtie: Fine, fine. Just know that I'm onto you guys…

BellaBLes: Go to Hell, Black.

Hawtie: I'll save you a seat, my dear Belly. Don't forget! I'm HAWT!

_Hawtie has left the Slytherin Common Room_

_SlimySnake has left the Slytherin Common Room_

BellaBLes: What?

_BellaBLes has left the Slytherin Common Room_

_A/N: There you go! I know this doesn't make up for my, what, 3 week dissapearence? Aw, well. Listen, to thoughs who care, I might only make this like a 10 chapter thing, and then work on a different L/J story. Any ideas for the next story? Remember, it always makes an author's day when you review, good or bad!_

_Thanks,_

_~Phoebe_

_P.S: Feel free to PM me if you want. When I don't have any new stories to read, or don't have any ideas for writing, I love talking! Siriusly, if you're bored, go ahead and PM me! That didn't make me sound desperate._


	4. The Teacher's Chat Room

**A/N: I've decided to write this story anytime I'm bored, considering that whoever is reading it is also only doing so because they're bored... Anyway, enjoy, laugh, review, blah, blah, blah. **

**Disclaimer: I'll let you know when I own Harry Potter. But it'll be hard to communicate with the dead. **

The Teacher's Chat Room

* * *

_WorldPeace has entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

_MinnieCat has entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

_FlitwicktheShort entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

_Sluggy has entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

**MinnieCat**: Albus, I'm not a big fan of the username Bane gave me.

**FlitwicktheShort**: Nor I. Can we please change them to normal, better ones?

**WorldPeace**: I find them rather amusing actually.

**Sluggy**: Haha, 'Sluggy' that old Bane has got quite the humor, if I do say (text?) so my self.

**MinnieCat**: Of course you two wouldn't mind.

_BigBadBanester has entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

**MinnieCat**: Oh dear Merlin.

**BigBadBanester**: Hello my fellow staff members, nice day isn't it?

**WorldPeace**: Very nice indeed! Why, I saw a purple blossom that sits right outside my window open up this morning. Very lovely sight.

**MinnieCat: **Fascinating.

**BigBadBanester**: Very good, very good! I see you some of you are not too happy with your usernames?

**FlitwicktheShort**: Well, I mean...

**WorldPeace**: Ah, don't mind them my good fellow! They just don't have the appreciation jokes like we do!

**BigBadBanester**: Right you are, Albus!

**MinnieCat**: I lost my appreciation for jokes when Sirius Black threw pie at me in his first year. I couldn't get the filling out of my hair for a week!

_Hawtie has entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

**Hawtie**: Ah, good times, good times. Wouldn't you say so Minnie?

**Sluggy**: Hahaha, Hawtie? Why is this Mr. Black himself!

**Hawtie**: It sure is Sluggy!

**MinnieCat**: Black! Detention! My office, now!

_Hawtie has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

**WorldPeace**: Oh, Minerva, that's a bit harsh don't you think?

**MinnieCat**:...

**Sluggy**:...

**FlitwicktheShort**:...

**BigBadBanester**:...

**Sluggy**: Did anyone else hear that scream?

**MinnieCat**: Oh yes, it was just me. Sorry.

**WorldPeace**: Everything alright?

**MinnieCat**: Yes, yes of course. Everything's fine.

**FlitwicktheShort**: Uhh...

**MinnieCat**: What?!

**FlitwicktheShort**: It's just... Mr. Black just passed my office and... he has donkey ears...

**MinnieCat**: I decided to cut detention short.

**Sluggy**: Minerva, I can hear him making donkey sounds from down here in the dungeons. What did you do?

**MinnieCat**: Mr. Black simply entered my office and started being, for lack of a better term, a donkey.

**BigBadBanester**: You mean ass.

**WorldPeace**: I'd better get off, I'm sure I'll have Poppy in my office at any moment to discuss Mr. Black's... condition.

_Poptart has entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

**Poptart**: Thanks a lot Minerva, it's not like I have my hands full already!

_Poptart has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

_WorldPeace has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

_Sluggy has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

**FlitwicktheShort**: I've got some essays to grade, good night!

_FlitwicktheShort has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

**BigBadBanester**: And I've got to get ready for my new shipment of these handheld thingymagiggers!

_BigBadBanester has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

_Hawtie has entered the Teacher's Chat Room_

**Hawtie**: Don't worry Minnie, I forgive you.

**MinnieCat**: ARGGG

_MinnieCat has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

**Hawtie**: Too easy.

...

**Hawtie**: Oh, right I'm alone... who am I kidding? I'm way too HAWT to be alone! Time to find some ladies!

_Hawtie has left the Teacher's Chat Room_

* * *

_Reviews area always appreciated, thanks! _

_Love, Phoebe_


End file.
